As a little girl. growing up I always dreamt of my adulting days! I had it all figured out, I was going to be a Boss woman, who was on top o the world and I was going to be a dope mom and wife. I had it all played out and nothing was going to stand in my way.
Now as I look back, I wish I had been given a manual especially on how lonely it can be in the adulting world. I mean is there a manual and is there a way I can order it and have it delivered to Africa?
Trying to master the world of Bills and Responsibilities as a young African woman has proven to be quite challenging. I have come to the conclusion that there is no guide or manual on how best to navigate and get to the top. Rather all you get is a trial and error and with a solid back, a quick bounce back is very crucial! Stay Woke Girl and Don’t snooze for too long.
In the land of adulting my young African beauty, I have come to realise it is a path best chartered and navigated alone at times. Do not try follow the trends, you will loose sight of who you are, Do not try rely on others a bit much because you they will soon walk away when you need them the most and that can be catastrophic to you.
I have found the beauty in trusting in myself and my decisions and knowing that I AM ENOUGH! Find the beauty in the good the bad and the ugly. That is the best way to survive in the adulting world. Be consciously open minded to looking for beauty every step of the way.
In my early 20s and a good bit of the late 20s I was a people-pleaser and it was really important that I was considered as cool. I had to have the right gadgets and the bomb and popping products. The Glam Life! I was not as vocal about my real opinions because it was not the popular view and because my passions were not cool I totally brushed them off to the side.
I soon asked myself… ‘What Happened To The Me I Knew Before The World Told Me Who To Be?’
This has been the best part, re-discovering who I truly am and embracing her with zero pressure. I love books and I watch ratchet TV shows with zero shame. Being true to myself has had everyone around me telling me how much happier I am and it as become more easier for me to love and embrace others for who they are, all because I am confident of me. I have been the only constant in my life and I might as well be happier in my own body because we stuck with each other.
Become The Best Version of Yourself And Discern
I have heard it said that ‘Elevation requires separation.’ Honey let me preach, growing up as an young woman is hard enough worse of when you’re African. Everyone feels the need to impose their opinions and beliefs on you so you can become more socially acceptable. I remember rebelling a certain ideology and that ended up with me being labelled as too Westernised by my family. When things go wrong, people see that as the opportune moment to tell me because it is because of my unAfrican and unorthodox methods.
It is important that you love those around but maintain a balance so that you do not drink from every cup that is before you. You are living this life for you and if you want to please anyone, try pleasing your Maker!
Trust your gut and go by it, the more you practice, the easier it is to hear that voice. Reduce the volume and hear what that inner voice is saying to you. Befriend discernment and cheers to adulting my young African Queen!
My name is Nyaree and Tribe Called Her was birthed from the desire I had to see more African women winning and applauding each other. I hope we all become the women we were set out to be, inspire and empower each other along the way. I live by the mantra that ‘You can sit with us’